Big Blonde

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Being truly happy has a lot to do with a person's view of self worth. Those with a high view of self worth do not let outside people or influences alter their behavior or their opinions of themselves. Those with a low view of self worth find themselves often in precarious situations because they let themselves be influenced into becoming what others want them to be. In the story "Big Blonde" by Dorothy Parker, conformity and melancholy are the driving forces that influence Hazel's behavior and ultimately lead to the collapse of her character.

Conformity is the biggest factor leading to the breakdown of character at the story's conclusion. At the dress establishment where she works, men gravitate toward Hazel and often ask her to go out with them. Many a night is spent with the men that she meets, and from these nights come the beginnings of her conformist behavior. "Popularity seemed to her to be worth all the work that had to be put into its achievement." She repeatedly states, "Men liked a good sport." In other words, she acts in a way as to make the men that she goes out with like her. She becomes the good sport through her sense of humor and her laughter. This is how she meets Herbie, her husband. He is instantly attracted to her because of these qualities, and they are married six weeks after they meet. Once comfortably married, Hazel begins showing other emotions. "She had not realized how tired she was. It was a delight, a new game, a holiday, to give up being a good sport." She finds joy in crying and in sadness. "To her who had laughed so much, crying was delicious. All sorrows became her sorrows." Herbie is not accustomed to the constant crying, and soon becomes resentful. Herbie is the first person to teach her

that it is not okay to show emotions other then happiness. The resentful feelings that Hazel's crying evoke are the beginning of the demise of their marriage. Herbie turns to drinking, and often comes home after work drunk. After awhile, Hazel the conformist starts to drink with him to try and remedy their relationship. The drinking does nothing for their relationship except destroy it. Herbie soon leaves, and Hazel becomes an alcoholic.

Hazel's overwhelming feeling of melancholy begins with Herbie when she realizes that he only wants the bubbly blonde that she portrays… not the woman that she is underneath. Hazel did not rejoice in the knowledge that she is not loved or appreciated for being herself. She dwells in it. What other people love the most about her is the thing that most fuels her sadness. She finds comfort in alcohol and soon depends on it to keep her in her high spirits. "She was never noticeably drunk and seldom nearly sober." After Herbie she has relationships with other men, all of whom like her because of the bubbly facade that she displays. Her next boyfriend, Ed, "insisted upon gaiety." He says, "I got worries of my own and plenty. Nobody wants to hear other people's troubles, sweety. What you got to do, you got to be a sport and forget it. See?" She is not allowed to be anything but the bubbly blonde. Otherwise, criticism is sure to follow. Her melancholy quickly turns into depression. Hazel's search for contentment and peace are never to be found. Her existence seems to be a fateful cycle that she cannot escape. She has tried repeatedly to escape the facade of gaiety that she loathes. People want her to be a good sport, but that is the thing that is feeding her misery. Suicide becomes Hazel's solution to

her problem. Even suicide fails her when one of the maids in the house finds her and sends for a doctor. Ironically, after finding consciousness, the maid that saves her life tells her "You cheer up, now." Immediately, she asks for a drink and begins the cycle all over again.

Hazel feels like she is trapped in a life that she has no control of. People have only superficial interests in her. She dwells in the fact that no man wants her for anything but a good time. She feels like she has no way to improve herself. All these things feed into the misery that Hazel feels, and the helpless feeling that has overcome her. She would conform to what people wanted from her, and then suffer from the melancholy that was sure to follow. It was a vicious cycle that Hazel finds no escape from. Even suicide, which is supposed to be the final ending, fails her. She finds no solace in the end of the story, and it implies that she will end up back in the cycle all over again.

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