A Visit to an AA Meeting

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Have you ever attended an Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) meeting? Well the experience is one to remember. Lucky for me, my attendance at the meeting was just a project for my Social Problems class. Unfortunately, not everyone who attended was there for the same project. These people were actual rehabilitating alcoholics. I felt sorry for them but curious about their stories. Why would anyone have to depend on alcohol to help solve his/her problems or for any other reason?

When I arrived at the meeting, everyone was asked to put his/her name on a tag and wear it. Then, we were asked to sit in the chairs in the center of the room. The chairs were all put together, not too close, in a large circle. At first, I felt uncomfortable because they knew I was only there for my project. I believed that they were not going to be able to open up easily because I did not actually have the same addiction they had. But once the session began, they opened up amazingly. I think they wanted me to listen to their stories, so that I would not some day return to an AA meeting for myself.

They each took turns telling about their lives and their addictions. Everyone's story matched up at some point. They all seemed to have so many problems. The alcohol seemed to be the only way out. I will not tell you their names, but I will tell you their stories. I remember one man recalled that his father had been an alcoholic. Therefore, he blamed his father for him having become dependant on alcohol. He strongly believed that it was already in his blood and there was nothing he could do to get it out of his system. I guess he felt it was easier to blame someone else rather than put the blame on himself. He also said that his father's drinking problem had put his father in an early grave. But it did not stop this man from drinking. He went on with the idea in his mind that it had been because of his father that he had to drink. He drank for about seven or more years until he realized that he could stop drinking even if it was in his blood. He had decided that life was too short to live it this way.

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There was another young guy, maybe twenty-four, who had become an alcoholic. He had begun drinking since he was about sixteen years old. At age seventeen, he went into the military so that maybe he could do something good in his life. But he began to drink again. His excuse was that there was nothing else to do but drink. There was nowhere to go or no one to see. So all he could do to pass the time was drink a few or more beers with others who loved to drink. He finally realized that the more he drank, the more he was unable to put the beers down. One after another he drank his teen hood away. The drinking even put him in jail a few to many times for disturbances and violence towards others. He remembers that he would drink and suddenly he would become unstoppable and pick fights with anybody that was around. Now he wishes he had not depended on alcohol for so long. He stated that maybe if he had not been drinking all those years, he would have friends to talk to and maybe a girlfriend to make memories with. But like he said, "You can't change the past or dwell on it, you can only look towards the future." Hopefully, he meant that he would try to make a better future, one without the alcohol and the parties, instead one with friends and maybe even a girlfriend.

Although everyone's stories were interesting, the one person that really caught my attention was a woman. I have always known there were men and women drinkers. But to meet a woman alcoholic was unreal. I believe she should have been at home taking care of a family or pursuing a career. But who am I to judge. When she stood up to say her name and she said that she was an alcoholic, I about passed out. At that point, I thanked God quietly in my head that I did not grow up with an alcoholic mother. Well the woman stated that her reason for having become so dependant of alcohol was because she had gone through so much in her life. She said that all the memories of her childhood and teenage years were awful ones. She had even become a young teenage mother who had given up her baby for adoption. She felt as if no man wanted her and that her family was ashamed of her. The alcohol seemed to make all these memories disappear. Actually, all the drinking was doing was making her recall these awful thoughts more clear than before. She said that she would find herself the next day, after sobering up, bleeding in places where she had cut herself while she had been drinking. One day she found herself in the hospital though. This was probably when she realized she had a problem with alcohol and it needed to be cured soon. The first step to making that happen was actually admitting that she had a problem with alcohol. The AA meeting helped her do that. She felt she was not alone here. There were others around with her same addiction. She felt that she could really open up with others like her and that is what she has been doing.

I have tried to put myself in their positions, but it seems that I do not have to try very hard. Now, I have come to realize something about myself. Maybe this was not just a project for my class. I drink every weekend. I may not drink everyday, but it is an every weekend thing. It is something I feel I have to do, even if I do not have any major problems in my life. Am I becoming an alcoholic? I always answered that question with a, "No". Now I am not so sure. I really believed that an alcoholic was someone who drank everyday. But now I know that is not true. From what I understood at the meeting, an alcoholic is someone who drinks at a constant rate, not everyday. Alcoholics develop a pattern, sort of like the one I have developed. The people I met at the meeting also said that their drinking interfered with their families and anyone around them. My drinking always interferes with my family. My wife and I fight every weekend because she cannot deal with fact that I have to drink like her alcoholic father. All I do is tell her to leave if she does not like me to drink. I try to act like I run things since my drinking buddies are around. She has even threatened to leave me because of the person I become when I drink. She says that I scare her. That is not something I want. But at the time I am drinking, so I do not pay much attention to her. Even though my parents were not alcoholics, I enjoy drinking every weekend and whenever I get the chance.

Remember how I said I was very uncomfortable at the meeting. Now I know why. It was because it was my story that needed to be told to someone. But I had not realized it until after the meeting, at home with my wife. I was telling her about the meeting and the experience it was. She then turned to me and asked, "So, did you learn anything from that experience?" The AA meeting I attended was a benefit to me. I now realize that I have been developing a problem with alcohol just like the people I met had. In the past three weekends I have not touched any kind of alcohol. I care for my family and our future. I do not want to return to any AA meeting where I will be the one telling the story. I thank my instructor for telling me to attend one of these meeting. It has helped me observe the life of others who have had a major problem with alcohol and it has helped brighten my eyes to what alcohol can do to a person and their surroundings. Alcohol is not the life for me, my wife and son are. I feel that maybe classes should start sending more students to these AA meetings. Many people think that it will not happen to them or the people they love and know. The Alcoholic Anonymous meetings will get the message out to them. It can happen to anyone and it may be happening already, you just have not realized it. These meetings can also help people understand that anyone with an alcohol problem can be helped. Alcoholics can turn their lives around, but they have to want to do it first. No one else can change them.

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