Tuesday, August 21, 2012


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Love is a bittersweet thing. It can be amazing and heart opening, making a person search his or her soul, but it can also tear the same person apart. Long are the moments I myself fall into my own chaotic ideas and loves. Sometimes it inspires me and lets me fill page after page with blue and black inks, forming words and trying to make my emotions into something coherent. Other times I cannot write for the conflicting thoughts and feelings inside me. The love becomes a kind of constant companion, an ache that escalates into a piercing pain when the object of these amorous thoughts comes into view. A smile, or even a glance, from the person in question can send a love-struck soul into a maze of little hearts, flowers, and fantasies made of romantic red roses with very sharp thorns. Seeing that one person sets me upon Cloud Number Nine until the harsh reality of not being with that person on that cloud decides to make its appearance and drag me down below earth.

love is like a drug, an addiction that is immensely hard to break. I need to see him nearly every day or be far away from him, nearly enough to put him out of mind for a time. Yet one simple object can bring up memories and fantasies to bring a smile to my lips and deliver a jab to my heart. It can be a physical pain; that is how it is for me. I just watch him out of the corner of my eye, or I pretend not to be looking at him when he is the only thing filling my vision. I almost treat him like a beloved work of art, a moving statue sculpted in my dreams delivered here to real life with a personality to match. Dreams that have come to life are amazing things once one recognizes them for what they are.

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